Thursday, February 12, 2009
hi people...Hiya... I know it's late. Nearly 5am in the morning (at least, when I started blogging it's 4:53am)...
Start of the year hasn't exactly been pleasant. Many things happened through the new year, be it in the norm calendar or the lunar calendar. Too many things happened.
Personally, I'm struggling with acceptance, identity crisis, displacement/replacement, insecurities on top of many other issues.
I realised that penning down that part of my life into a 6 page essay and telling several individuals at the same time, allows psychological acceptance more easily than verbal counselling with people. Perhaps, as usual, I tend to phrase things better when I type or write as opposed to verbal exchanges. Have never ever been one who's good at speaking with someone. It's different compared to memorizing a script and regurgitating or memorizing and singing the lyrics of the song or playing the song from memory. Wait. All those 3 relates to memory work. To think I have bad memory. Probably it's more of selective memory. All those in agreement, say (or tag) aye.
Many have asked why have I not been attending acappuccino pracs. Actually not many have asked, it's just the same old people who know that I'm not that irresponsible to disappear without a trace. But there are just quite a number of things that I have to deal with personally... And now that he wants Gerald to take over some duties for the quartet... To be honest, I feel worst. It makes me feel as if, I really can't do anything. =/ I mean, yes, it's out of good will that he's trying to get Gerald to help out. But... Really. It does make me feel that, I'm just not up to it and that things really do go wrong because it's my fault coz I totally suck.
Reverse psychology never does work on me. Only at certain times, it does. And only at limited times.
Never mind. Hope after these 11 mins, I'll probably be able to sleep...
pachie appeared at 4:53 AM